One Ornery Saint

Ushered in with Haley's Comet, ushered out the same way.  My favorite American saint and I'm sure many of yours as well.

Best known with a soup strainer on his upper lip, but when he worked the riverboats his face was smooth as a boy's.

Never a man for "The glass is half full or the glass is half empty"; his motto leaned more toward "There is not enough water for your people are dying of thirst, you pirates and thieves!"

There is never enough "water".  The people are always starving for a man like Sam to tell them when they're running around bare ass naked, whether they like it or not.